No Doubt, No Noise, No Problem – Bayer Cruise to a Well-Deserved Derby Win

Ah, derbies. The kind of matches where your pulse races, beer prices skyrocket, and emotions boil over the fastest. Only this time… it was quiet. Unusually quiet. The Rhine derby against FC Cologne felt less like fireworks and more like a cosy night by the fireplace – featuring a very artistic firestarter named Martin Terrier. If you score a scorpion kick to make it 1–0, it’s pretty clear you're done with boring goals – and honestly, fair enough!

But let’s start from the top – even though there’s not all that much to tell. Bayer pressed, Cologne staggered, yet somehow it was still 0–0 at halftime. Kofane missed, Andrich headed wide, and Tillman briefly seemed to believe that football goals are located somewhere above the net. It all looked decent enough, but not exactly derby fire. And in the stands? Drought. Cologne’s active fan scene boycotted the match due to alleged police measures – and Leverkusen’s ultras walked out in solidarity.

On the pitch, though, there was quite a bit of actual football happening. Terrier came on and scored a goal even Zlatan would struggle to dream up, and Andrich – now our libero of hearts – nodded in the 2–0 like a true leader. That was that. Game over, Kölsch going flat, and Cologne completely done.

Coach Hjulmand deserves a special shoutout – at this point, he could probably sub in the winning lottery numbers. Terrier as a joker? A masterstroke with French flair. And the fact that Robert Andrich is calling the shots both at the back and up front might just be the best Christmas gift since canned beer on an away trip.

Bottom line: three points, two wondergoals.

So, here we are – still floating around in table-heaven, Terrier clearly wants more minutes, Andrich remains captain on the pitch and in our hearts – and Leipzig awaits for the final match of the year. Maybe even with Grimaldo and Schick.

Grimaldo Claus and the Art of Late Surprises

Sometimes football feels like an advent calendar—each match a new door, with the hope that behind it isn’t another disappointing chocolate in the shape of a Premier League ego. But behold, on matchday six of the Champions League, Bayer 04 didn’t find a lump of coal from Newcastle, but a sweet, late gift courtesy of (who else?) Alejandro Grimaldo. A 2-2 draw that didn’t just salvage a point—it salvaged belief, pride, and maybe a bit of our festive spirit too.

Let’s be honest: the first half looked like a carefully crafted tactical masterclass. Controlled, sharp, and with Newcastle looking more like a mid-table Bundesliga side trying to figure out how offside works. The opener—an own goal induced by the eternal chaos-bringer Robert Andrich—felt like justice being served with a side of irony. For 45 minutes, we had the game in our grip. Then, like clockwork, football did what it does best: throw a wrench into our collective joy.

A soft penalty, a VAR decision that felt like it was made by someone on autopilot, and suddenly the game turned. Newcastle’s equaliser came too easily, and when the second goal followed, you could feel that all-too-familiar Werkself-Wahnsinn creeping in. Would this be another tragic chapter in our European misadventures?

But no. Not this time. Not under the December lights of the BayArena. With head coach Kasper Hjulmand absent and his assistant Rogier Meijer leading from the sideline, the team didn’t collapse. They pushed. They ran. They believed. And in the 88th minute, just when resignation was settling in, Grimaldo did what Grimaldo does: appear out of nowhere, latch onto a sublime Maza pass, and bury the equaliser like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Sure, there’s stuff to nitpick. Defensive lapses, lost control after the break, missed chances. But this isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. About a team that doesn’t crumble, even when it’s wobbling. About a club that once made “never master” its identity, now finally acting like it wants to change that narrative.

Next up: the derby against Cologne. No Christmas miracle required there—just the same grit, the same belief, and maybe, just maybe, another late Grimaldo moment to keep the dream alive.

Posts, Possession, and Pain

There are games where, after the final whistle, all you can do is stare into the night sky and wonder if someone up there is holding a giant magnet over the crossbar. A 0–2 loss in Augsburg, despite 70% possession, three shots off the woodwork, and enough dominance to make a chess grandmaster blush – but as we all know, football doesn’t reward style points. It rewards goals. And that’s where our beloved Werkself came up painfully short.

We knew it wouldn’t be a walk in the park. Augsburg, that gritty mix of cinder block defense and lightning-fast counters, has a history of ruining weekends. But when you control the game like we did, when you dictate every tempo change and pass the ball around with surgical precision – you’d hope for more than a goose egg on the scoreboard. Sadly, precision without punch is like bringing a scalpel to a street fight.

Let’s be clear – the performance wasn’t bad. If you're a fan of data and heatmaps, this was your jam. Pass accuracy in the 90s, a dominant duel ratio, and a shot count that would usually result in two or three goals. But instead of finding the net, we found the frame. Repeatedly. Schick, Ben Seghir, Tella – all with chances that deserved better. If hitting the post earned points, we’d be top of the league by now.

Coach Hjulmand, ever the calm Scandinavian, talked about “getting back to the character of our game.” Which sounds like something from a TED Talk, but maybe there’s truth in it. Because if we’re honest, things looked a bit off already in the last games. That slick cup win in Dortmund might’ve masked some cracks. Against a side like Augsburg, those cracks became visible – especially in defense, where one long ball equals one goal conceded.

Now we face Newcastle, Köln, and Leipzig to close out the year – and suddenly the margin for error is gone. We need to turn our woodwork waltz into a goal fest, or risk undoing much of the great work from earlier in the season. Augsburg was a stumble, not a collapse. But let’s not pretend it was just bad luck. Sometimes the football gods test your focus. Let’s hope our answer in the coming weeks is loud, precise – and finally on target.

Groundhog Day, but Make It Pokal: Revenge Served Werkself-Style

Well, there we go! While Dortmund are still scratching their heads wondering whether to defend against us with a bus or a bulldozer, our Werkself have made it into the DFB-Pokal quarterfinals for the third year in a row – a new club record. Maybe it’s that mythical Pokal DNA, or maybe it’s just solid footballing grit, sprinkled with a bit of Maza magic and the simple truth: you don’t win beauty contests in Dortmund – you win points. Or cup rounds.

If you were expecting a footballing firework show – something like a Grimaldo cross volleyed home by Tapsoba – you might have been a bit underwhelmed. But what we got was a team as solid as a vault. Not the local savings bank, but Fort Knox. Robert Andrich, reimagined as a libero with leadership swagger, cleaned up like he was getting free beer for every successful tackle. And as for the VAR cancelling Terrier’s would-be second goal – well, football’s not a wish concert, it’s an offside trap.

Revenge for the league defeat just three days earlier? Oh yes, and then some. Winning in Dortmund is never a given – not for the national team, and definitely not for clubs without the black-and-yellow referee bonus. But on this cold December night, Bayer 04 did what we fans have been begging for: grind out a dirty win, don’t crumble under pressure. And with Maza, we seem to have someone emerging who doesn’t just score goals but has his heart in the right place – somewhere between midfield and the penalty box, right where it hurts.

Sure, we’re far from done. Augsburg, Newcastle, the derby, Leipzig – December’s no walk in the park. More like a barbed-wire marathon. But if you march into Dortmund with your head held high, sweat three litres, grab a goal, and walk out with 7,000 ecstatic away fans behind you, then you’re allowed to say: We are Bayer 04 – and this year, the cup just might go red and black again.

Just one thing: cup or no cup – can we finally start beating Dortmund regularly? There’s hardly anything sweeter.

You've got everything you need

Sometimes a Bayer 04 match feels like an IKEA shelf: technically you’ve got everything you need—possession, chances, all the nice individual parts—but in the end the whole thing still stands crooked because one tiny screw is missing. Against Dortmund, there were several of those infamous little details Hjulmand sighed about after the final whistle. And we fans know: whenever the coach talks about “small things,” it usually means the big things have blown up in our faces again.

And it all started just the way we like it in Leverkusen: us on the ball, Dortmund chasing shadows. 63 percent possession—reads almost like a threat. Ten corners, 600-plus passes, hitting the crossbar, creating chances. A perfect evening for lovers of statistics. Too bad matches are decided by goals and not by who cuddles the ball the longest.

Dortmund, meanwhile, played the classic routine: one set piece, one cross, two headers, two goals. Efficiency level: unpleasantly high. While our final third looked as if we’d signed a secret pact never to simply take a shot, BVB scored with the ease of a team that’s been to the Rhineland a few times.

But to be fair: the Werkself has spirit. After going 0–2 down, plenty of teams would’ve pulled down the shutters—but not us. We send on Kofane, who reminds everyone that goals aren’t just for looking at, you can poke them in as well. Maza delivers his first assist, and suddenly there’s fire again. BayArena roaring, Leverkusen pressing, Dortmund wobbling. Just… not breaking.

And so here we are again: feeling like we were actually the better team, yet walking away with zero points. A classic case of the “Never-Champions Experience.” Humor is mandatory here—otherwise it gets dangerous.

Luckily, Tuesday brings the next round—again Dortmund, this time in the cup. Maybe we’ll find the missing screw by then. Or at least download the efficiency app. Because one thing’s clear: the team, the fans, the atmosphere—everything’s there. We just need that one tiny thing Dortmund had yesterday. And once we find it, the world will look very different.

From Injury Crisis to Pep’s Worst Nightmare: Bayer 04 Crash the Etihad Party

Be honest—who really saw this coming? Eleven players missing, away at Manchester City, with Erling Haaland lurking on the bench and Pep Guardiola probably already planning his semi-final speeches. It had all the makings of a respectable 0:3, a “we tried our best” kind of night. And yet, Bayer 04 decided to turn the script upside down, light it on fire, and dance on the ashes. A Champions League masterclass? Nope. A full-throttle, backs-to-the-wall heist? Absolutely. And we loved every minute of it.

Let’s start with Mark Flekken—formerly known for giving fans heart palpitations with the ball at his feet, suddenly turned into Lev Yashin reincarnated. Nine saves. Nine! He stopped everything from nervy toe-pokes to full-on Haaland hammerblows, and still had the composure to thank his teammates afterwards. If this was his way of silencing critics, mission accomplished. We’ll start printing the “Flekken Forever” scarves next week.

Meanwhile, Alejandro Grimaldo and Ibrahim Maza played like they had a point to prove to the entire continent. One scores, the other assists twice, and suddenly Guardiola’s multi-billion-Euro lineup is looking nervously at the scoreboard while our "Not-Not-Elf" is celebrating like it’s Carnival in Köln. Patrik Schick nodded in the second with the grace of a man who remembered just in time that he’s actually pretty good at this football thing.

Let’s not pretend City didn’t pile on the pressure. They came at us with waves, subs, and more tactical tweaks than a Pep masterclass usually includes. But Bayer 04 defended like their Ryanair flight back to Köln only existed if they got a clean sheet. Bodies flying, boots swinging—this was trench warfare with a Champions League soundtrack. And in the end, the scoreboard read 2:0 for the underdogs, while 50,000 fans in sky blue quietly Googled “Leverkusen – how good are they really?”

We’re not getting carried away. Yet. There’s a double Dortmund showdown on the horizon, and nothing brings a fan back down to earth like playing BVB twice in three days. But if this performance is anything to go by, this team has grown teeth. Real ones. And if Pep Guardiola can be outclassed by a patched-up Werkself, who knows what’s next?

Three Shots, Three Goals, Three Points – and a Side of Nervous Energy

As a Bayer fan, you know the drill: an away day in Wolfsburg is rarely something to get the pulse racing. The stadium? Functional. The atmosphere? Meh. The opponent? Solide Langeweile. And yet – our Werkself brought just the right amount of spark to turn this trip into a proper statement. Especially in that first half, where the boys played like they had dinner reservations and no time to mess around.

Three shots on goal, three goals. That’s not efficiency – that’s clinical madness. Hofmann, Tapsoba and Tillman didn’t just score, they dismantled Wolfsburg’s game plan before it even had a chance to unfold. Cool in possession, razor-sharp in front of goal, and composed like a team that’s not just trying to win, but trying to mean business this season. You almost had to rub your eyes and ask: is this really Bayer 04?

And then came the second half. Because of course it did. We switched off just enough to give Wolfsburg a lifeline, and suddenly it felt like we were watching a familiar rerun: shaky defending, second balls lost, and one goal against that could’ve turned into more. VAR saved us from conceding a second, Flekken stepped up big-time, and we managed to ride it out. Just about.

That’s the frustrating part. When we’re on, this team looks like it belongs in the Champions League. But we still give teams too many windows to climb back in. That said – let’s not get too grumpy. This win wasn’t lucky. It was earned in 45 minutes of mature, purposeful football. García continues to pull strings like he’s been here for years, Hofmann looks reborn under Hjulmand, and Tillman is grabbing his chances with both feet.

Now it’s on to Manchester City, then Dortmund at home. No time to relax. But if this team brings that first-half energy into these next two games, we might finally start believing that this isn’t just another "strong Bayer autumn" – but the beginning of something real.

For now, we’ll take the three points, enjoy the view from the Champions League spots, and try not to think about 2000.