No Doubt, No Noise, No Problem – Bayer Cruise to a Well-Deserved Derby Win

Ah, derbies. The kind of matches where your pulse races, beer prices skyrocket, and emotions boil over the fastest. Only this time… it was quiet. Unusually quiet. The Rhine derby against FC Cologne felt less like fireworks and more like a cosy night by the fireplace – featuring a very artistic firestarter named Martin Terrier. If you score a scorpion kick to make it 1–0, it’s pretty clear you're done with boring goals – and honestly, fair enough!

But let’s start from the top – even though there’s not all that much to tell. Bayer pressed, Cologne staggered, yet somehow it was still 0–0 at halftime. Kofane missed, Andrich headed wide, and Tillman briefly seemed to believe that football goals are located somewhere above the net. It all looked decent enough, but not exactly derby fire. And in the stands? Drought. Cologne’s active fan scene boycotted the match due to alleged police measures – and Leverkusen’s ultras walked out in solidarity.

On the pitch, though, there was quite a bit of actual football happening. Terrier came on and scored a goal even Zlatan would struggle to dream up, and Andrich – now our libero of hearts – nodded in the 2–0 like a true leader. That was that. Game over, Kölsch going flat, and Cologne completely done.

Coach Hjulmand deserves a special shoutout – at this point, he could probably sub in the winning lottery numbers. Terrier as a joker? A masterstroke with French flair. And the fact that Robert Andrich is calling the shots both at the back and up front might just be the best Christmas gift since canned beer on an away trip.

Bottom line: three points, two wondergoals.

So, here we are – still floating around in table-heaven, Terrier clearly wants more minutes, Andrich remains captain on the pitch and in our hearts – and Leipzig awaits for the final match of the year. Maybe even with Grimaldo and Schick.