Terrier, Goals & Total Chaos: Mainz Tried, But Bayer 04 Had Other Plans

Well, well, well – look who just can’t stop winning away from home! Anyone thinking Bayer 04 would calmly tiptoe through the post-Union Berlin schedule clearly hasn’t been watching this team lately. The 4:3 win in Mainz? More like a rollercoaster ride through the MEWA Arena, complete with goals, drama, records, and the kind of chaos that makes you question if your heart is even built for this club anymore. But hey – who said being a Bayer fan was supposed to be relaxing?

Let’s be honest: that wasn’t just a Bundesliga match, it was a 90-minute mixtape of everything that currently makes this team so damn fun to watch. We had early goals, silky-smooth build-ups, an emotional comeback goal from Martin Terrier (who's been out so long that some fans thought he was a myth), and yet another Grimaldo masterclass. Sprinkle in a few defensive wobbles for dramatic effect, and you’ve got yourself a true Werkself thriller.

Sure, conceding three goals sounds like a red flag, but let’s not pretend we weren’t in control most of the time. Mainz did their part – aggressive, scrappy, and annoyingly persistent – but when you’ve got a team like ours clicking the way we are right now, it’s like bringing a butter knife to a laser battle.

And speaking of laser-sharp – Martin Terrier. Back on the pitch after nine months, and what does he do? He bags a goal like he never left. The man stepped onto the grass, found the net, and went straight into a group hug that probably should’ve been rated PG-13 for emotional intensity. It wasn’t just a nice moment – it was the kind of feel-good football that makes you believe in comeback stories, in physiotherapists, and maybe even in destiny.

Also back in the mix: Jonas Hofmann, quietly and efficiently doing what he does best – being clever, calm, and criminally underrated. His link-up play with Grimaldo on the left? Chef’s kiss. And let’s not forget Christian Kofane, who’s scoring in every game like he’s on a mission to get his own statue outside the BayArena by Christmas. Three goals in three games, and he’s still younger than half the people in your FIFA Ultimate Team squad.

But hey, don’t let all the goal-scorers distract you from Robert Andrich, now the proud owner of a Bundesliga record: 38 consecutive away games without defeat. That’s not just consistency – that’s elite road warrior energy. If the Bundesliga handed out frequent flyer miles, Andrich could probably book the whole squad a trip to Bali.

And let’s take a moment for **Grimaldo**, our Spanish engine who’s currently playing like he’s allergic to bad performances. Two more goals, more running than a marathon runner with caffeine issues, and – fun fact – he’s already outscored his total from last season. Leadership? Check. Goals? Check. Defending? Also check. Basically, he’s doing everything except selling bratwurst at halftime.

So yes, it got nervy at the end. Yes, Mainz got a bit too close for comfort. But we walked away with the three points, extended our unbeaten away run to a mind-boggling **37** league games, and proved once again that this team is not here to mess around.

Now, PSG is next. Champions League, bright lights, big names. And honestly? Let them come. Because right now, Bayer 04 look like a team that doesn’t care who’s standing on the other side – they’ll just outplay, outpass, and outscore them anyway.

Of course, here at neverchampions, we don’t throw around the M-word lightly. We know better. We’ve seen too much. But if this continues, we might need to start preparing a “Just in Case” emergency celebration kit – complete with confetti, a therapist, and a list of humble responses for interviews.

For now, though, it’s one step at a time – next stop: PSG. Bring snacks, bring nerves, and maybe bring a spare heart monitor. Because if there’s one thing we know by now, it’s this: boring just isn’t Bayer’s style anymore.

No Wall Too Tall: Bayer Gently Evicts Union from the BayArena

Sometimes you sit down, switch on the match, and just hope for a relaxing evening of smooth Werkself football – ideally with a couple of nice goals, 74% possession, and an opponent who looks more like they’re on a guided tour of their own penalty area. And well… against Union Berlin, that’s exactly what we got. Not bad for a Saturday, right?

As a Leverkusen fan, you learn to be cautious. We’ve seen *things*. But what Kasper Hjulmand and his red-and-black ensemble are serving up week after week doesn’t just look structured and confident – it’s starting to feel like watching a well-oiled opera, with deep-baritone Tillman, maestro Garcia in the middle, and a surprise front duet from Poku and Kofane. Self-belief is growing, connections are clicking, and dare I say it – something *big* might be brewing here. And it’s not built on hype, but on hard work and a sprinkle of magic.

Let’s talk Poku – the guy clearly missed the memo that Bundesliga debutants are supposed to be nervous. Second game, second goal, same calmness. Just slots it in like he’s been doing this forever. And Kofane? That man’s hold-up play in the first half was pure furniture showroom – rock-solid. Then in the second half, he casually pickpockets Union keeper Rønnow like a Berlin pickpocket on tourist season. Cool, calm, clever. First Bundesliga goal? Check.

What’s *really* noticeable, though, is how different this team feels. Gone are the days of shaky one-goal leads and 80th-minute panic. This squad keeps playing. Keeps pressing. Keeps hunting. And they actually look like they *enjoy* it. Substitutions bring energy, not anxiety. Maza and Arthur come in and raise the tempo. Hofmann adds veteran calm. Even Belocian gets a few minutes after nearly 300 days out and helps close things down like he never left. That’s not just squad depth – that’s culture.

And speaking of culture: 153 completed passes from Aleix Garcia. Yes, that’s *one hundred and fifty-three*. He basically treated Union like a training drill. Add to that a 92% team pass accuracy, 74% possession, 20 shots to Union’s 10, and suddenly you realize: this wasn’t just a win. This was a gentle but firm domination. “No, thanks, Union – this half of the pitch is ours.”

Let’s not forget Jarell Quansah, either. 71 duels won in the league – second-best overall. He’s basically a walking “No Entry” sign at this point. Want to get past him? Bring a crowbar and a permission slip from the DFL.

And yes, losing Grimaldo and Vázquez at halftime wasn’t ideal. In past seasons, that would’ve sparked a collective “here we go again” feeling across the stands. But this time? It was more like, “Okay, Arthur and Maza are coming on. No problem.” That’s how stable this team has become. Injuries aren’t derailments – they’re just changes in tempo.

So yes, this might’ve been the most *complete* performance of the season so far. Not because it was flashy or dramatic – but because it was calm, ruthless, and professional. And that, as a fan, is the most comforting kind of football. Like a warm blanket. Or a three-point pillow.

Union? Still without a win in ten straight against us. Only one Bundesliga loss to them in total. And now we head into the international break with smiles on our faces, numbers on our side, and that quiet thought sneaking in: Could this really be our year? Too soon? Maybe. But hey – confidence is contagious. And this team has plenty to spare.

Draws, Drama and Dutch Delays – Bayer’s Love Affair with Almost Winning

Well, there we go again. Second Champions League match, second draw – Leverkusen 2025/26, still proudly defending its unofficial European title as “The Kings of Almost.” Against PSV Eindhoven, it was the kind of match that had all the ingredients for a perfect European night: floodlights, flair, excitement, woodwork rattling… and that familiar missing piece – the actual victory.

It all started with a small shock when eternal football nomad Ivan Perisic nodded the ball in after five minutes – thankfully from an offside position. After that, though, Bayer took control like a DJ grabbing the decks at a dull party. The Werkself played some sparkling stuff: Grimaldo smashed one against the crossbar, Poku danced past defenders as if he were late for a techno festival in Eindhoven, and Garcia launched a few missiles from distance that nearly needed an export license. Only thing missing? A goal.

Enter minute 65: Christian Kofane, just 19 years old and cooler than a refrigerator, pounced on a PSV blunder and calmly slotted home for the 1–0. The youngest Champions League scorer in Bayer’s history! For a few glorious moments, you could feel destiny smiling on the Werkself. Then, in minute 72, Ismael Saibari decided to ruin the mood and equalized – and just like that, Leverkusen fans around the world sighed in perfect synchronization.

To be fair, it was a good performance. Hjulmand’s team continues to play football that’s actually fun to watch – slick, structured, and creative. The only thing missing was that final bit of ruthlessness, the one the coach diplomatically called “the last bit of consequence.” It’s as if the team is writing beautiful novels but forgets to finish the last chapter.

Still, there’s plenty to love. The kids! Poku, Kofane, Tape – sounds like a new boyband from the Rhineland, and they’re playing with a joy that’s contagious. Tape had to go off injured, but until then he looked calm and confident. And Kofane? The boy finished like he’s been doing it for years, not like someone still figuring out his Spotify student discount.

So, 1–1 it is. A result that feels both okay and annoying at the same time – very Bayer, in other words. On the bright side, Leverkusen remain unbeaten in all eight games against Dutch sides. Not quite headline material, but hey, small wins are still wins.

Next up: Union Berlin. Less glamour, more grit. Maybe exactly the kind of match to turn all these lovely chances into actual goals. Because make no mistake – this team deserves more than two draws. Keep playing like this, add a pinch of killer instinct, and the wins will come.

Until then, we stay what we’ve always been: not champions, but definitely entertaining. And honestly, that’s kind of our thing, isn’t it?

Of Pirates, Pokus & Pass Accuracy – Bayer’s Hamburg Heist With a Smile

Sometimes football feels more like a gritty crime novel than a sport. That 2:1 win at the Millerntor? Definitely filed under *"Werkself solves a difficult case under pressure."* Rainy, rowdy, and full of plot twists – just the way we like our Bundesliga away days. And in the end, Bayer 04 walks off with all three points, leaving the local pirates of FC St. Pauli clutching only their moral victories and fair-trade espresso.

Let’s be honest: this wasn’t a masterpiece. No football purist will study the opening 20 minutes and declare it a tactical epiphany. But who cares? We’re here for the points, not poetry. This was one of those classic away grinds – you get in, do your dirty work, keep the engines running, and leave before someone calls the police or VAR.

And let’s talk about our unsung hero turned action star: Edmond Tapsoba. The man was *everywhere*. Clearing balls off the line, scoring volleys like a striker on holiday from the back line – we’d be tempted to check if he secretly cloned himself for this match. That opener? A scrappy, opportunistic strike off a set piece, and just like that, our standard situation prowess was back on display. If there’s one thing this team does consistently, it’s turning dead balls into gold.

Of course, we then did the very Bayer 04 thing of briefly forgetting how to handle a corner. Flekken spilled it like a barista with a caffeine overdose, and St. Pauli were back in it. But did we collapse? Nope. We brought on a kid named Ernest Poku who clearly didn’t get the memo that he’s supposed to *ease* into Bundesliga football. Two minutes on the pitch, one clean strike into the bottom corner, and boom – legend status unlocked. That’s how you make an entrance. Somewhere in Leverkusen, a scout is quietly fist-pumping with pride.

And then there’s Robert Andrich. Back from suspension, breaking records like it’s a hobby. 37 Bundesliga away matches in a row without a loss. That’s not just a stat, that’s a lifestyle. It’s the kind of number that makes you look at his haircut and think, “Yep, that’s the guy I’d follow into a bar fight *and* a midfield duel.” No-nonsense leadership, and when he’s not on the pitch, guys like Grimaldo step in like it’s no big deal. Grimaldo, by the way, continues to play like he’s got a football GPS installed in his left foot – one moment a freekick magician, the next a precision assist machine.

Coach Hjulmand said we showed character – and you know what? He’s spot on. This wasn’t flashy Bayer. This was gritty, efficient, bit-your-lip-and-don’t-blink Bayer. We didn’t need 30 shots on goal; we just needed two clinical moments and 90 minutes of focus. The buildup play still stuttered at times, like someone playing jazz with construction equipment, but the attitude? Rock solid.

So, what do we take from this? First of all: we’re still unbeaten away. 36 times now. That’s not just a streak – that’s a warning to the rest of the league: don’t let Bayer 04 into your house, because we’ll redecorate and take your points while we’re at it. Second: we’ve got depth. Injuries? Rotations? No problem. Bring on the Pokus and Vázquezes of the world, and we keep rolling. Third: we fight. This team has developed a resilience that feels… new. Dare we say: champion-like?

Next up: Champions League night against PSV, then Union Berlin at home. Two very different kinds of games, but with this team, anything feels possible. If we keep combining Bundesliga grit with a sprinkle of magic, we might just be cooking something special this season.

Until then, Werkself fans – clean your boots, polish your Pokus, and enjoy the ride. Because winning ugly is still winning – and we’re getting really good at it.

Tabakovic, You Party Pooper! – A Nearly Perfect Night at the BayArena

Sunday night. Floodlights. Sold-out stadium. Beer in hand. Football, the way it’s meant to be. Everything was set for one of those magical evenings in our beloved BayArena – and to be fair, for 91 minutes, it looked like the football gods were in Schwarz-Rot. Bayer 04 had one hand on the second home win in a row, new faces were settling in nicely, and Ernest Poku was tearing down the right wing like a man possessed. But then came Haris Tabakovic. A name that sounds like he belongs in a Tarantino film – and, unfortunately, a man who decided to ruin everything with a header in the 92nd minute.

Let’s rewind for a moment – somewhere between cautious optimism, tactical tinkering, and Kasper Hjulmand’s growing feel for the squad. Without midfield anchors Robert Andrich and Exequiel Palacios, Hjulmand rolled the dice with Aleix Garcia and Malik Tillman in the double pivot. And surprisingly, the experiment worked quite well. Tillman even ended up scoring – yes, actually scoring! A well-worked goal, served on a plate by the electric Poku, who came off the bench and immediately looked like he was late for a sprint final.

Patrik Schick also showed again why we missed him so dearly. He may not have scored this time (his early header was saved), but the way he moves, holds the ball, and simply *is* a presence up front... it’s all coming back. We can all exhale – Schick is not only fit, he’s also ready to haunt defenders again. And judging by the reactions in the stands, some of us are ready to name our kids after him.

Then came the moment: Poku burning down the right, crossing with intent, Schick misses, but Tillman is there – bang! 1–0. Cue wild celebrations, beer showers, hugs with strangers, and a general feeling that yes, the BayArena is once again a fortress. The kind of moment we live for. The kind of moment that makes you forget the overpriced stadium sausage and the guy behind you who won’t stop yelling “PRESSING!”.

But then... yeah. The 92nd minute. A corner we didn’t really need to concede. A man we definitely didn’t need to leave unmarked. Tabakovic. Header. 1–1. Just like that, the mood turned from “Champions League vibes” to “not this again”. And honestly, it felt like someone just unplugged the karaoke machine at the height of the party.

But you know what? This *wasn’t* classic “same old Leverkusen”. There was no collapse. No collective shrug. No emotional flatline. Instead: frustration, yes – but also defiance. This team is still figuring itself out, but the direction feels right. Hjulmand is clearly imprinting his ideas, and the players – new and old – are buying in. It’s not always polished, but there’s intent. There's growth.

Maza, for example – running like he’s being chased, pressing like a terrier, and slowly but surely becoming someone you *want* on the pitch in tight games. Ben Seghir, too – not perfect yet, but you can tell he’s learning, adjusting, and finding his role. And then of course, the return of Jonas Hofmann. Only on for a few minutes, but celebrated like a cult hero. He didn’t have to do much – just show up and remind us he’s still part of the family.

Of course, a 1–1 against Gladbach is frustrating. Especially when it feels like two points dropped. But let’s not forget: that’s now 12 unbeaten Bundesliga matches against the Foals. The team is still undefeated this season. And while there’s still a missing screw here and there in this tactical furniture Hjulmand is building, the shelf is holding. Just about.

Next up: the wilds of St. Pauli. The Millerntor won’t be friendly, but it’s the perfect chance to shake off the sting of this draw and get back on the winning track. After that? PSV in the Champions League – no time to sulk.

So yeah, thanks for nothing, Tabakovic. But we’ll be back. Stronger. Smarter. And hopefully with fewer dramatic late twists.

And if not? Well, there’s always beer. Leverkusen doesn’t break hearts – it just keeps us on our toes.

Grimaldo bends it (again), Leverkusen bends – but doesn’t break

Well, Champions League nights are supposed to be glamorous, aren’t they? But Bayer 04’s opener in Copenhagen was more like one of those dramatic Nordic crime thrillers – cold setting, unexpected twists, and a plot that had us all screaming at the screen. Only difference? No one died, thank God – though our nerves came close.

Let’s be real: a 2–2 draw away at FC Copenhagen isn’t exactly the “statement win” we had in mind after steamrolling Frankfurt. Twice down, twice levelled – it was messy, frustrating, but in the end, it was Bayer-style chaotic redemption. You know, the kind we fans have gotten oddly comfortable with. Maybe too comfortable.

The evening started the way most horror stories do – with a mistake. Nine minutes in, Copenhagen sliced through our backline like it was IKEA particle board. Larsson scores, 1–0, and the Danish crowd goes wild. Our response? Ball possession. Lots of it. Like, “statistically impressive, emotionally unsatisfying” levels of it. We moved the ball, we passed, we circled – and yet Copenhagen had the better chances. If not for Flekken, who pulled off a massive save before the break (on his UCL debut, no less), we could’ve gone in two down.

Second half? Much better. Hjulmand shuffled the deck, bringing on some young legs and much-needed spark. Ben Seghir, Garcia, and Maza changed the tempo. Suddenly there was drive. There were ideas. There was… hope. And just when that hope was starting to feel like another cruel footballing mirage, guess who stepped up?

Alejandro. Freaking. Grimaldo.

The man’s left foot must’ve been blessed by some ancient footballing deity. Another direct free kick, another postage-stamp finish into the top corner. If you’re keeping count – that’s six (!) free kick goals since 2023. At this point, UEFA might as well ban him from set-pieces for fairness. But we’ll take it. 1–1. Game on.

Or not. Because this is Bayer 04, and we don’t do “easy.” Just four minutes after the equalizer, we fell asleep at the back, and Copenhagen punished us. Again. 2–1. It felt like getting dumped via WhatsApp: you saw it coming, but it still hurts.

But here’s where this team shows its teeth. New squad, new coach, plenty of work in progress – sure. But what they showed in the final minutes was pure mental strength. 90+1, Echeverri (what a spark he’s been!) takes a shot, deflects off poor Hatzidiakos, boom – back of the net. 2–2. Equal parts skill, luck, and stubborn refusal to lose.

So yeah – we didn’t win. But we didn’t fall apart either. And considering it was the first Champions League night for six of our players, in a cold and hostile away environment, there’s plenty to build on. Mark Flekken looked solid, Grimaldo continues to defy physics, and the squad – even if still learning to play together – showed real fight.

Now we move. Sunday, it’s Gladbach at home. Time to trade icy Scandinavia for the warm chaos of the BayArena. Let’s hope the momentum carries. Let’s hope the fire burns a little brighter. And above all – let’s keep that Grimaldo left foot far, far away from injury.

Because if that thing keeps bending balls into top corners, Europe better brace itself.

Grimaldo Lights It Up – And Hjulmand Brings the Heat!

Alright, dear Bayer 04 faithful: after a summer of painful goodbyes, tactical confusion, and a certain Dutchman making every game feel like a root canal with extra anesthesia, who would’ve thought that this season could actually start with... fireworks? Literal ones? Not quite. But when Alejandro Grimaldo is on the pitch, a direct free-kick basically counts as a pyrotechnic event.

Bayer 04 beat Eintracht Frankfurt 3–1. At home. On a Friday night. Under the floodlights. In double bloody numerical inferiority. I repeat: we finished the game with nine players. And we still scored a last-minute goal to seal the deal. If that doesn’t scream mental strength, tactical clarity and some good old-fashioned Werkself madness, I don’t know what does.

Let’s rewind a bit. New coach Kasper Hjulmand is making his BayArena debut. He’s only had a few training sessions with the team after the whole Ten Hag saga (don’t ask), and yet – there he stands, calm and composed like a Scandinavian chess grandmaster. And his team? Not only do they play like they know what they’re doing – they fight, they suffer, and they win.

Grimaldo. What else is there to say? This man treats free-kicks like he’s playing darts at a pub. The first one? Perfectly curled into the corner. The second? Even more ridiculous. Two direct free-kicks in one game. That’s not football anymore – that’s art. That’s physics-defying, goalkeeper-demoralising, wall-useless magic. He now has six (!) direct free-kick goals since joining us in 2023. More than any player in Europe’s top leagues. In fact, we might need to rename set pieces “Grimaldos” at this point.

But it wasn’t just his show. This was a collective masterclass in grit and discipline. Palacios went off early. Andrich got sent off. Then later Fernández followed. We finished the match with two men less. And yet, we defended like maniacs. Badé, in his first start, played like he’s been here for years. Tapsoba turned into a general. And up front, Schick was colder than a Danish winter – burying his penalty like it was nothing, bringing his tally to 15 league goals in 2025. Only Mbappé and Guirassy have more in the big leagues. So yes, let him keep doing his thing – just wrap him in bubble wrap between games.

And now let’s talk Hjulmand. What a debut. No screaming, no showboating, just structure, clarity, and a team that suddenly looks like it knows exactly what it’s supposed to do. After months of chaos, rotating lineups, and midfielders pretending to be defenders, this felt like finally switching your old VHS player for a 4K OLED TV. Clean, crisp, and way more satisfying.

Frankfurt? Sure, they had more of the ball. But they looked about as dangerous as a balloon sword. They scored once, but never really looked like they’d take the game. Bayer, on the other hand, played like a team possessed – especially after going down to nine. That last Grimaldo goal in minute 99 (yes, really) was the perfect ending to a wild night: a team that refuses to lose, refuses to fold, and refuses to let go of the momentum it so desperately needed.

Let’s not forget: this game came after a shaky draw in Bremen and the drama of a managerial switch. But now? Now there’s hope. There’s fire. There’s energy. And with Champions League action coming up next week in Copenhagen – Hjulmand’s hometown, no less – there’s a chance for the next statement.

Because this Bayer team, even after losing stars like Wirtz, Frimpong, and Xhaka, has something you can’t just buy: heart, identity, and a left-back who makes free-kicks look like a cheat code.

Werkself is back. And we're bringing fireworks.