Terrier, Goals & Total Chaos: Mainz Tried, But Bayer 04 Had Other Plans

Well, well, well – look who just can’t stop winning away from home! Anyone thinking Bayer 04 would calmly tiptoe through the post-Union Berlin schedule clearly hasn’t been watching this team lately. The 4:3 win in Mainz? More like a rollercoaster ride through the MEWA Arena, complete with goals, drama, records, and the kind of chaos that makes you question if your heart is even built for this club anymore. But hey – who said being a Bayer fan was supposed to be relaxing?

Let’s be honest: that wasn’t just a Bundesliga match, it was a 90-minute mixtape of everything that currently makes this team so damn fun to watch. We had early goals, silky-smooth build-ups, an emotional comeback goal from Martin Terrier (who's been out so long that some fans thought he was a myth), and yet another Grimaldo masterclass. Sprinkle in a few defensive wobbles for dramatic effect, and you’ve got yourself a true Werkself thriller.

Sure, conceding three goals sounds like a red flag, but let’s not pretend we weren’t in control most of the time. Mainz did their part – aggressive, scrappy, and annoyingly persistent – but when you’ve got a team like ours clicking the way we are right now, it’s like bringing a butter knife to a laser battle.

And speaking of laser-sharp – Martin Terrier. Back on the pitch after nine months, and what does he do? He bags a goal like he never left. The man stepped onto the grass, found the net, and went straight into a group hug that probably should’ve been rated PG-13 for emotional intensity. It wasn’t just a nice moment – it was the kind of feel-good football that makes you believe in comeback stories, in physiotherapists, and maybe even in destiny.

Also back in the mix: Jonas Hofmann, quietly and efficiently doing what he does best – being clever, calm, and criminally underrated. His link-up play with Grimaldo on the left? Chef’s kiss. And let’s not forget Christian Kofane, who’s scoring in every game like he’s on a mission to get his own statue outside the BayArena by Christmas. Three goals in three games, and he’s still younger than half the people in your FIFA Ultimate Team squad.

But hey, don’t let all the goal-scorers distract you from Robert Andrich, now the proud owner of a Bundesliga record: 38 consecutive away games without defeat. That’s not just consistency – that’s elite road warrior energy. If the Bundesliga handed out frequent flyer miles, Andrich could probably book the whole squad a trip to Bali.

And let’s take a moment for **Grimaldo**, our Spanish engine who’s currently playing like he’s allergic to bad performances. Two more goals, more running than a marathon runner with caffeine issues, and – fun fact – he’s already outscored his total from last season. Leadership? Check. Goals? Check. Defending? Also check. Basically, he’s doing everything except selling bratwurst at halftime.

So yes, it got nervy at the end. Yes, Mainz got a bit too close for comfort. But we walked away with the three points, extended our unbeaten away run to a mind-boggling **37** league games, and proved once again that this team is not here to mess around.

Now, PSG is next. Champions League, bright lights, big names. And honestly? Let them come. Because right now, Bayer 04 look like a team that doesn’t care who’s standing on the other side – they’ll just outplay, outpass, and outscore them anyway.

Of course, here at neverchampions, we don’t throw around the M-word lightly. We know better. We’ve seen too much. But if this continues, we might need to start preparing a “Just in Case” emergency celebration kit – complete with confetti, a therapist, and a list of humble responses for interviews.

For now, though, it’s one step at a time – next stop: PSG. Bring snacks, bring nerves, and maybe bring a spare heart monitor. Because if there’s one thing we know by now, it’s this: boring just isn’t Bayer’s style anymore.