Ten Hag, Ten Hakt – Bayer Trips Over the Season’s Starting Line

Well, that’s just great. The new Bundesliga season kicks off and our boys are already flat on the ground. A 1:2 home defeat to Hoffenheim in the BayArena, and right on the Bundesliga debut of Erik ten Hag. All summer long we’ve been dreaming of a shiny new start, of controlled possession football à la Ajax and Manchester, and what do we get? Hoffenheim outplaying us, while we’re stuck sounding like a broken tuba in the school band.

And yet, it all began so beautifully: six minutes in, Grimaldo whips in one of his trademark magical left-footed balls, and newcomer Quansah heads in his very first Bundesliga goal. BayArena buzzing, fans grinning, and you’re thinking: “Yes, the Ten Hag era takes off like a rocket!” Well, turns out it was more like one of those cheap New Year’s fireworks that fizzles with a puff of smoke before it ever leaves the ground.

Because Hoffenheim simply did what we were supposed to be doing: brave, tidy football with just the right amount of cold-blooded finishing. Asllani made it 1:1, Lemperle scored the winner—both on debut, of course. Bayer: the club where opponents love to write their fairy tales.

And what did our lads offer in return? Patience, set pieces, and long-range shots. In other words: the football equivalent of hoping that your Ikea screws will tighten themselves if you stare at them long enough. Tella had one big chance late on, but instead of rattling the net, he rattled only the side netting. Perfect metaphor, really.

Of course, this is just matchday one. Nobody gets relegated after an opening-day loss, even if it feels like that in the stands. But you can already sense that this new Bayer style isn’t quite clicking yet. Ten Hag talks about processes, patience, and hard work. All fair enough—but as fans, we can’t help but wonder: why can’t processes just start with three points for once?

The truth is, this squad is still finding itself. Players out, players in, Boniface practically packing for Milan… it’s like building a puzzle with pieces from three different boxes. Trouble is, the Bundesliga doesn’t wait around until you’ve found the missing corner piece.

Next stop: Bremen, followed by Frankfurt. Not exactly the easiest places to rebuild confidence. But hey—this is Bayer 04. We can turn any situation into either a tragedy or a football fairy tale. Most of the time we choose the messy middle ground: maximum drama, minimum comfort.

So my verdict? Chalk this one up as an early stumble, keep the beers cold, and practice patience. Maybe this was just the classic opening-day tripwire—and maybe the rocket launch is simply delayed by a few weeks.