Six-Pack with Style – Heidenheim Gets the Full Bayer Treatment

If anyone thought Bayer 04 would coast into the Bundesliga weekend after that gritty Champions League win in Lisbon, well… they clearly haven’t been paying attention. This team doesn't just play football right now – it performs. And against Heidenheim, Leverkusen didn’t just win. They threw a six-goal party and forgot to send Heidenheim an invitation.

Within 30 minutes, it was 4:0. That’s not a match – that’s a warning. Patrik Schick opened the scoring faster than you can say "Werkself", and from there it was less a contest and more a showcase. Hofmann headed one in, Schick mopped up a loose ball like a pro, and Ernest Poku added some acrobatics for good measure. By halftime, poor Heidenheim probably just wanted to go home, but Bayer weren’t done yet.

Enter Ibrahim Maza. The teenager, who looks like he should still be doing his homework, played like a veteran and scored not once but twice – including a cheeky little poke for the 6:0. Not bad for your first Bundesliga brace. The fans? Rightfully losing their minds. The BayArena? Rocking like it's the 90s.

But before we book the Rathausbalkon for May: this was Heidenheim. Respectable side, sure – but not exactly known for spoiling parties. This kind of result is expected of a title contender. The way Leverkusen delivered it, though? That’s the scary part. Fluid, focused, ruthless. Like a Swiss watch, only more Spanish, Czech, Burkinabe, and Leverkusen.

Even the numbers got a bit silly. 926 completed passes – most by any team in the Bundesliga this season. Aleix Garcia played 165 of them himself, which is either an incredible athletic feat or a gentle mockery of Heidenheim’s pressing (or lack thereof). Tapsoba notched more assists in this one game than in his previous 166 Bundesliga appearances. Sometimes the stats just start laughing with you.

And let’s not forget debutant Alejo Sarco, the Argentine prospect who came on late and almost got in on the fun. A nice cherry on top of an already frothy football sundae.

So now, a break. The dreaded international pause, just when Bayer have found fifth gear. When they return, it's Wolfsburg away – and a run of games that could define the season.

But until then? We’ll just sit here, replaying goals, refreshing the table, and wondering: Is this actually happening? Is Bayer 04 really this good? Answer: Yes. And it’s a lot of fun.

Schick happens

Wednesday night in Lisbon, and Bayer 04 finally bags that elusive first Champions League win of the season. No fireworks, no samba football – but three gritty, glorious points that feel like aloe vera after the burn in Munich. Ugly? Absolutely. Deserved? You bet.

This wasn’t a game for the purists. It was trench warfare in football boots. Bayer didn't outplay Benfica – they outlasted them. Wave after wave of red shirts crashed into our backline, but the Werkself held firm. Special shoutout to Mark Flekken, who had the kind of night that goalkeepers write memoirs about. Benfica launched 21 shots – all of them found nothing but frustration and a Dutch wall in gloves.

And then came Patrik Schick. Off the bench, on the scoresheet, job done. His first effort was still more warm-up als goal attempt, but when the rebound floated onto his head, he did what a striker does – bury it. One touch of class, one-nil Leverkusen, and suddenly Lisbon went quiet.

Let’s be honest: it wasn’t pretty. But who needs pretty when you’ve got fight, sweat, and just enough Schick magic? With a starting eleven that’s young enough to be carded at every Kneipe in Germany, Bayer didn’t dazzle – they survived. And that’s what you sometimes need in Europe.

Even Malik Tillman made his comeback look routine after weeks out – the man stepped in like he’d just paused the game, not missed a month. It speaks volumes for the spirit Hjulmand’s squad is showing. They’re learning. Fast.

Yes, Benfica had more possession, more shots, more flair. Bayer had grit, guts – and the only number that matters: three points. It wasn’t a performance to frame, but it might just be a turning point.

889 Days of Sunshine – and Then Came Munich

Well, it had to happen sometime. Thirty-seven Bundesliga away games without a loss isn't exactly nature's default setting — and of course, when a streak of that magnitude ends, it does so in the most classic fashion: in Munich, against a Bayern side that decided to throw its lineup into the washing machine and still came out looking crisp. Meanwhile, our beloved Werkself apparently left the zipper of their defensive jacket wide open in the first half.

Three goals down by halftime — no amount of “but we had chances too” can smooth that over. Yes, we did. Echeverri had some electric moments early on that made you briefly wonder if Messi had been reincarnated into a teenage Argentine. But magic up front is pointless if the back line decides to cosplay as ghosts. Gnabry’s opener was as precise as it was simple. For the second, we defended with the structural integrity of wet cardboard. And the third? A classic own goal in the “shouldn’t happen, but of course it did” category.

Hjulmand was sportsmanlike about it — acknowledged the errors, pointed to issues with game management, and promised analysis. Fair enough. You don’t need to set the house on fire after one bad night. But the bitter truth remains: Bayern didn’t just beat us with goals, they beat us with control. 55% of duels won doesn’t mean much when you still concede three times before halftime.

Still, let’s not forget what just ended: a historic unbeaten run that will live in the record books — 889 days of Bundesliga away matches without defeat. That’s no small feat, and not something you scribble casually on a beer mat. Now it’s off to Lisbon, then Heidenheim at home — a prime chance to patch the ego and right the wrongs with some actual points.