Confetti, Headers, Reality Check

When it’s Carnival in Leverkusen and Bayer 04 scores three headers, you know the rules: we’re not just throwing sweets—our set pieces are flying like confetti.

This 4–0 against St. Pauli felt less like “nice home win” and more like the long-awaited “oh, there you are!” moment. Hjulmand had been missing exactly this blend: control, joy, and clarity. Suddenly we looked like a team that actually believes in its own plan again—moving the ball around as if we’d bought it in the club shop, and owning the air so completely St. Pauli might’ve needed an oxygen permit. Two headed goals in one minute, then another after the break: that’s not just efficiency, that’s a PowerPoint titled “Set Pieces Can Be Fun.”

And honestly, can we talk about our centre-backs? Quansah pops up early, Tapsoba adds one after half-time, and it’s become almost normal that our defenders contribute up front. Almost. Because when your CB is racking up goals and assists like loyalty points, something is going very right. Tapsoba apparently leading the “most direct goal involvements by a centre-back in the top five leagues” charts sounds like a Football Manager glitch—except it’s real, and it’s glorious. Also very Bayer 04 that even while celebrating we immediately whisper: “Please stay fit, please stay fit…”

Still, a 4–0 doesn’t erase what annoyed us in recent weeks. The inconsistency was real, the sense of inevitability wasn’t. That’s why this match matters—not because it’s St. Pauli, but because it’s us. It shows Hjulmand’s ideas can click even with a constantly reshuffled XI, new faces, and rotating line-ups.

Now the heavy weeks are coming: Olympiakos, then Union. And we all know Leverkusen in February can be either masterpiece or mild panic. But today? Fan goggles on, chest out—and please, keep this version. Preferably without the part where next week we’re guessing which Werkself is showing up.